(in response to the song “Undermined” from the show Nashville)
A letter to the person I just wanted to protect.
Sometimes good intentions, Don’t come across so well..
I know you will find this hard to believe but growing up all I wanted to do is protect you, I never wanted to see you hurt or sad or upset. I always gave into you so you could have your way to make you happy so in a way I only have myself to blame. Every time you hurt, I hurt; you cry I would cry all I’ve ever wanted for you was you to be happy.
Just cause I ain’t lived through,
The same hand that was dealt to you
Doesn’t make me any less
Or make any more of you.
I know life hasn’t always been easy for you, from the night we almost lost you to the path you have chosen now it’s always been a little bumpy. I wish I could have made/make it easier for you but I can’t we all have to play the cards that were dealt to us. Just because I haven’t gone through the same struggles as you and I might not always understand doesn’t mean I’m any less than you it just means we are different. But that should be no surprise to either one of us because since we were toddlers we’ve been polar opposites.
I wouldn’t trade my best day.
So you could validate
All your fears.
I think that line speaks for itself.
First mile is always harder
When you’re leaving what you know
Won’t blame you if you stay here
Waving to me as I go
Always wished the best for you
Thought that you would see me through my wildest dreams
Yeah, the ones you thought I’d never make
I know some times I’ve screwed up through the way I’ve acted and the words I’ve said and I’ve had to come to terms with the fact that I’m half the reason our relationship is shattered. But will you ever admit to what you’ve done wrong ? 95% all you ever do is bring me down, I can’t remember the last time you said something nice to me. You want me to accept who you are well how about you accept who I am! It’s a two way street, I’ll work on my part but you have to put in effort as well. But I can’t keep pretending that you ignoring me doesn’t hurt me, do you know that every time I come home I cry? Do you care? I can only apologize for my part only so many times you can’t ignore me forever.
And if you only had one shot
Maybe all this talk
You don’t think I know that if the 3 of you had your wish, I would just disappear, because I’m not like you all. News flash I know, but I’m part of this unit too! You don’t think it hurts to know that I’m not wanted, that all of you just tolerate me because you have to. My phone doesn’t ring for you talk to me or get advice from me, or never be include in ya’ll’s little circle. Now before you get all pissy, I am very aware of the problems I’ve caused, I’m not devoid of any fault in this, but ever given any thought to why I’m like this?
It’s all talk, talk, talk
Talkin’ in the wind
It only slows you down
If you start listenin’
And it’s a whole lot harder to shine, Than undermine
I know you will never read this cause you hate me that much but if you ever do know I never wrote this to be mean I really wrote this to get off my chest cause I know I will never get up the courage to say this to you in person. I’m very aware of my faults and things I’ve done to hurt you and I’d give anything to take them back but you have to let me back in to fix things.
Sometimes good intentions
Don’t come across so well…
If you never speak to me again, I want you to know this, that I love you and will protect and defend you till the day I leave this earth and nothing you can do will ever stop me from doing that. But I have to let go of hurt and move on. Please know that I will always be here when/if you ever need me, cause that’s what big sisters do. Again, I LOVE YOU, little sis!!!!! ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!!!